Remembering when

Five years ago today Claire and I got on an airplane in Phoenix and flew to San Jose. Jared picked us up at the airport and drove us home. As we drove down the windy mountain road to our new home peace settled in, it was just so good to be together. It was exciting. Jared had spent one night in the apartment on the bed that was delivered, so aside from a brand new bed and a suitcase of his clothes, the place was empty and it was wonderful. Light filled the rooms and as I laid on the bed, a warm gentle breeze carried in the fresh aroma of trees (something we did not have in AZ) and I remember just taking a lot of deep breathes, just trying to soak it up. The reality of the move was sinking in and as I laid there, waiting for the movers I dreamed about taking Claire to a farm to get fresh fruits and vegetables. I imagined warm afternoons at the beach, sitting and watching as she and Jared ran in the waves. I laid there for a while because well, I was exhausted. You see, the day before had marked one year since my mothers large stroke. We had just moved from San Jose to Arizona the previous July to help out with her care. Miraculously she recovered well and despite the doctors suggestion that she had 4 months to live, she is alive and well to this day. Between her improved health and us hating living in Arizona, in Nov. Jared returned back to work in California. It was four months of transition. He lived in a hotel and Claire and I moved in with my parents while we worked on finding a place to live in Scotts Valley. During that period I had a lot of complications with my Chrone's, my wisdom teeth came out, I was nearly admitted to the hospital twice after that, had a fever of 103 for 8 weeks and severe sores on my feet so that I couldn't walk. So you can imagine the relief that I felt, to finally be in better health, to be living with my husband and to be resting in the middle of the day. I was so thankful to be done with all the chaos. Life was just starting for us. We would attend a new church, make new friends, start our new life. The world was wide open and we could make whatever we wanted of it. The only thing in the schedule was a quick check with Claire's pediatrician the next day, well that's a whole new story. I'll just say that I will remember March 7th as the day that I was able to dream like that. I still rest by the same window with the same beautiful warm breeze and dream. Although they have become more guarded over time, my dreams for myself, our family, for Claire have become bigger and brighter than anything that I could have conceived of five years ago.