Focus

That's right, when I go out I take four dates with me. Not really, we got to get out and go to the local Ducati Owners Club's bike night. The food was alright, the service was horribly slow, and the company was amusing. The sound of the older bikes as they went by made it all worth it. It is so easy to get frustrated when Jared works late another night. It was a good reminder to not take things too seriously. Yes, there is a lot of money involved and lots of other stuff, but in the end, it is the motorcycle business, it is cool. I am particularly happy with Ducati lately because of the love they have been showing to Claire and her friends with Rett Syndrome. I don't know if I can say at this time, but it is so nice that they want to do what they can to help. It is some much needed encouragement in this ugly time of IEP's and evaluations and all sorts of hoops and stuff. I cannot believe that it is so complex to have a three year old in preschool. I figure that in all, I communicate with almost 50 individuals for Claire and this Rett stuff. I am not counting her friends that she plays with, only business things like school, doctors and therapy. So I figure I have a bigger department than Jared and more on the line (if you value life more than $$$). So in theory, I should be more stressed than he is. Then it is like God hits me in the face with his truth. I need to be grateful for all of this, He made Claire like this, put her in these situations. Is is possible that in this big mess of preschool nonsense that God could be at work for a greater good, I suppose. I am trying very hard to take a new approach. To remember that with every interaction that I have, I am to love first. Before I am Claire's advocate, I am a sinner that was blessed by the mercy and grace of God. I know that I need to fight to get Claire in a good environment where she can learn and thrive. But I think that sometimes I start to limit God by thinking that I know what that is. How narrow minded of me. Funny, as I spent today focusing on how I can be quiet in this situation and listen for God to move, I was full of peace. It is so easy to loose focus each day of that. I guess that is why we go to bed every night with the challenge of waking up and making the decision each day, what will the focus be. Thank you to those of you that have been encouraging me through this walk. It has been such a blessing to have people whispering in my ear to stay focused.

Trip to the Market

Earlier today, my lovely husband went to the market to get lunch since I was exhausted. When we run around town without Claire, we take our Smart car. He parked and began to walk in when a lady a parking spot over shouted at him, "Did you see the video on youtube showing your car in a crash test into a wall at 45 mph?" Jared replied, "No." She then said, "You won't live." Being the great guy that he is, Jared said, "Awesome!" I take the car to work every Saturday and often get curious comments. I have had a few friends make jokes, but never had a stranger upset with our purchase. If anything I am more self conscious driving my SUV around after I drop Claire off. I wish I had a sign that says "I don't hate the planet, my daughter requires durable medical equipment." As Jared told me this story over lunch I was aghast. It really got me thinking. Poor Jared has a lot on his plate right now, he is coming to terms with Claire and what Rett means for our life, his work is wanting more and more of him as he is trying to set boundaries and maintain sanity, and his wife is pregnant, as well as irrational and overwhelmed. Why would this lady want to say something so horrific to my nice Jared, "You won't live." Maybe she was having a bad day or just lost a loved one in a car accident. My guess is that she says horrible things like this more than once a week. Sad part is that I think there are a few people out there that offer their opinions to people who really don't need them or care. So as a response, for the next week I am going to watch what I say to others. You never know what is going on in the person you are talking with, the clerk at the market or a friend in the parking lot.

Here is the irony, Jared normally rides a motorcycle, so if he hits anything at 45mph, it is going to be a very bad day. This lady was driving a Cadilac sedan that was a few years old, which on the Highway Loss Data Institute, every year prior to 2008 for Cadilac sedans is rated poor, the lowest possible rating. The moral here is don't drive into walls.